In 2004, I first met my wife. What is funny is that I thought that meeting a beautiful woman who fulfilled all my needs would rid me of the need to wear her clothes. For one last time I tossed what I had, but this time it was only a couple pairs of cheap underwear, so it wasn’t such a big deal.
About four days later, those pesky desires came rushing back like Walter Payton is his prime. My wife and I fell in love and about one month later, I decided to share my big secret with her. Yes, I decided to tell her that sometimes I enjoy dressing up like a pretty girl. I wish that we remember my exact words, but her reaction was so wonderful and it truly eased my soul. I knew then that this would be the woman with whom I would spend the rest of my life. She shared with me that one of her family members had some inclinations toward the same thing and that it was no big deal.
In retrospect, I suppose that I did not initially reveal just how important that this was to me because I did not want to send her running scared. Baby steps, I figured. Over the next few years, she helped Jessica really come into her own. You can imagine how much this has meant to me. This process has certainly not been a cake walk. We’ve had our ups and downs and along the way we’ve argued, cried and learned to understand each other more. I am able to share everything with her without fear of judgment and fully knowing that she loves me unconditionally.
As far as telling your girlfriend or wife, I would always err on the earlier side. Of course, you probably don’t want to let the cat out of the bag on the first date, but should probably start sharing before those wedding bells start ringing. My wife, in her understanding and knowledge, can probably give better advice than me, especially on this topic. You can read her postings at her blog, “We wear the same clothes”.
I must say to all of you out there, it is possible to be in a happy, healthy, and loving relationship as a crossdresser. I am living proof and I know there are others out there. I wish nothing but the best in all of your relationships, and hope that one day you can hear those beautiful words, “Honey, you look great in that dress”.
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{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }
Very interesting. In my case, I thought that when I married a beautiful woman that rocked my world (and also happened to dress exactly the way I’d like to), that my urges would go away. Of course, they did not.
I applaud you for telling her before getting married. That is exactly how every cd should do it. I waited more than a decade before telling my wife. I got lucky because she’s been great about it. Another happily married cd with an accepting wife.
If only we all ended up with women who loved us *completely*, and not just our man-side.
Shortly before I began writing this entry, I remembered that at the time I was not a member of any online crossdressing community. I hadn’t received any advice on whether or not to tell your girlfriend, let alone how. I just knew that I had to lay out all my cards, and see how she reacted. I believe that I downplayed it somewhat, as she now testifies.
However, in the long run it was one of the best things I did for our relationship. We wouldn’t be where we are now if I hadn’t decided to “spill the beans”, as it were. I do wish we could all be so blessed, but I know that there are married crossdressers out there with no hope of acceptance.
My wish is that people out there in relationships can heed our words and try to deal with the whole crossdressing thing as appropriately as possible.
i am female who is dateing a wonderful man who happens to be a crossdresser. when i first found out i did not know anything about crossdressing. i thought oh my god he is gay! i found a good one and he is gay… i thought because he wore wemons clothes he had to begay. it took me some time to learn about crossdressers, and why they wore female clothing. i was glad though, he is a wonderful man and should i say a pretty sexy gal too.. what i am saying is it is not the easiest thing in a relationship, but if you really love the person you can work threw the bumps in the road and make it.. i am just so uncomfortable with haveing sex with him dressed that way.. i am trying to change that though.. could someone explain to me why do u have sex like a wemon?? not all the time just one in a blue moon, but i still can not understand that.. he is just dressed like a wemon, and he is a wonderful lover i just do not understand that part…any ways thanks for listening to me babble here.. talk another time….. di
Hi Dianna,
Thanks for being so accepting of your boyfriend, crossdressing can be a tough issue but it is possible to work together, as you said. Sex can be part of it, it depends on the person. For some, having sex while dressed is the ultimate pleasure, or perhaps they are curious as to how they will feel emotionally. Appreciate the comment, take care.
Jessica