Whenever we discuss coming out to our friends, family or coworkers, it is mainly in a very serious tone. There are many personal stories out there and some very well written and extremely helpful blog posts on how to approach this life-altering decision. Gabrielle recently wrote a superb post on how to come out to your wife here.
I’ve decided to lighten the mood a bit by coming up with three absolutely absurd ways to reveal your femme self to those around you. Please do not try these at home unless you really want to go for shock-value and care nothing for your dignity.
3. Forward an e-invoice to your entire contact list
Online shopping is a great way for cds to get what we want (clothes) relatively anonymously. Oh sure, there is a possibility that the mail carrier will see it, but other than that you usually are in the clear. To enhance the danger, place an order at Victoria’s Secret or Bebe, and indicate clearly that this order is not a gift for a wife or friend, it is specifically for you.
Make sure that your order is extremely large, so that it is obvious that you are creating a wardrobe from scratch. Then, when you receive the order confirmation via email, forward it to your whole address book. This should include friends, coworkers, family, and internet buddies. Wait for the confused, bewildered and hilarious replies to roll in.
2. Break the law en femme
Next time you doll yourself up from head to toe, plan on committing some petty crime or creating some kind of public disturbance. This should be minor, nothing to hurt anyone but zany enough to make the evening news. For example, in full makeup and dress, go into the library and blast your boombox. Better yet, walk into a mattress store and proceed to rip off all the warning labels, then wait for security and run like the wind.
Best case scenario, your shenanigans will turn some heads while creating good fodder for the local (or national) media, depending on how slow the news day is.
1. Attend a big party/celebration in drag
Next Thanksgiving, instead of attending your family gathering in a boring shirt and tie, pick a festive holiday dress and plan to carve the turkey while dropping a few jaws in the process. Of course, you don’t want to dress like a pilgrim or you may not achieve desired surprise level. Hopefully, the party is big enough and many pictures are taken that end up on facebook.
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