I attended the Be-All Conference from June 5th to June 7th, here is my journal of my experiences. Because of the long length, I have decided to divide it into a four part series. You can read Part One here and Part Two here.
Baptism by fire. An expression used to describe a tough and painful experience that actually improves you for the future. After the day’s events, I felt that there was more to this whole crossdressing thing, a deeper purpose, if you will. Sure, I have certain insecurities that are magnified by staring at myself in the mirror in female garb; however, I am in a unique position.
First off, I am a crossdresser with plenty of privileges and blessings. Secondly, I run a blog that is growing in readership every single day. Therefore, I need to do my best to set an example for those I represent. I decided that I would no longer limit Jessica to the house and conferences once or twice a year.
Jessica needs to be out more. I plan on working on my skills and doing more things in drag, as well as telling more people in my life about this part of me. I need to stop cowering in fear behind society’s harsh implementation of rigid gender molds. I am as God made me and no longer should I feel ashamed to leave my house like this. Easier blogged than done, but it will be done.
The second day of the Be-All was exponentially better. We started the day by grabbing a bagel in the cafe and going out (in male mode) to the local Wal-Mart. I picked up some basic black flip-flops, a pink top and some shaving gel. After I got ready, again with Rebecca’s help, I walked her to the car. You see, she had committed to assisting one of our great friends in photographing a wedding (in Chicago). My wife would be absent for most of the day and would not return until early evening, leaving me alone to make my own decisions.
This is where things really improved. I resolved to make up for the previous day’s reactions and I proudly exited my room, ready for what the day would bring. I made my way to the dining room for lunch and saw a table with some people that looked my age. I started conversation with those at the table, and before I knew it, a married couple sat down. We struck up a conversation and soon after, another person joined us. We conversed, ate and listened to the keynote speech. Wow, I had finally made some crossdresser buddies, how cool was that!
Please read Part 4 (The Conclusion).
Loading ...
{ 5 comments… read them below or add one }
yay for jessica! that's awesome that you stuck with your guns, got back out there and made some friends. and i love how empowering and positive your reaction and resolution to getting jessica out there sounds. you go girl! i can't wait to hear more about the rest of be-all.
"I am as God made me…"
I really like where you're going, Jessica!
I'm very impressed with your writing and sharing your experiences. You're attitude is great and your personal growth is evident.
Keep up the good work!
@ Rachel, thanks! I am glad too, because I made two new friends. I appreciate your support
@ Gabrielle, thank you very much for your encouragement, I hope that I can continue to grow and be more brave.
Congrats girl,you did it on your own.
Thanks June