Pause for a moment, and think about your daily routine. Whether you are in college or in the work force, your morning regimen includes a few regular activities. These tasks are so mundane by now that you hardly take the time to consider them, such as brushing your teeth, eating breakfast and getting dressed. On occasion I’ll plan the outfit that I’ll wear the next day, but usually I just go into my closet and pick out a shirt and some pants. I also have a few accessories like stud earrings, a watch and a religious bracelet that I use.
The point is, you don’t usually plan to get dressed, you just do it. As rational and civilized human beings, we are well aware that before we leave our dwelling unit, we have to make sure that we are clothed, there is no way around that. However, if you dress for both genders, you almost always need to construct some sort of plan for dressing.
It’s actually counterintuitive, if you think about it. We plan weekend projects, vacations, family visits and parties, and while many times these plans do include laying out what you’ll wear, in most cases the clothes are a complement to these activities. In other words, I doubt if any of us ever say: “On Saturday, I’m going to wake up and get dressed in my new jeans and polo shirt and that’s it.”
Crossdressers frequently engage in this structure, actually planning entire days around getting dressed up. While I have attended a conference, my weekend errands don’t usually involve me wearing a dress. Because of this, I must set aside solo time to allow myself to transform and then just sit around the house for a few hours. We are extremely familiar with the cliché “All dressed up and nowhere to go”, because it applies so well to our lives.
Ideally, I would love to be spontaneous about my dressing. Waking up on a Saturday and throwing on a skirt after applying some makeup and then doing groceries or hanging out with friends would be a terrific blessing. It’s just part of who we are, and being able to express these feelings is a high priority. Unfortunately, this is currently not how I am able to live my life, but as more friends and family find out about Jessica, perhaps I will be able to work toward this.
Here’s a crystal clear example of how the planning process works, this was probably about two months ago. I hadn’t dressed up as Jessica in a while and my wife and I agreed that I was overdue, so we figured that Wednesday would be a perfect opportunity. I didn’t have class, had minimal homework, and our other friends would be busy, so this was the day to seize the moment. Everything was all set up when *bam*, one of our friends calls to ask us out to dinner. As a good friend, I didn’t want to deny this invitation, so Jessica time was pushed back a few days.
Postponement can put a damper on things, but as of today, it is my only option. If I am blessed enough one day to be able to just transform into Jessica at the drop of a dime, I’ll be sure to blog about it here. Until then, my google calender will be full of appointments simply stating: “Time to get dressed”.
photo credit: koalazymonkey
{ 8 comments… read them below or add one }
Yep, I’m always planning ahead when I can dress up next. And I tend to make plans around that day if it’s planned far enough ahead.
I long for the day when I can do something more than hang around the house but even if that day ever comes, I’m sure I’ll still be planning what I wear haha.
I used to get dressed, take some pictures, and then kind of just sit around. Now, I try to plan some sort of activity like watching a movie, cooking or studying while dressed. It’s still within the confines of my house, but at least I’m doing something, right?
Jessica, This is soo true for us, but I haven’t seen anyone lay it out like you have. Many times has my wife said, oah you ‘plan’ your whole day or week around dressing, um yeah there is no other way, I have to. She gets upset sometimes that I ‘plan’ ahead for dressing but don’t plan so well or much for other stuff. Well, I am very last minute and spontaneous with most other things, but unfortunately it isn’t really possible with cding. I too like cooking, watching a movie or some other ‘activity’ when dressed at home. I hope to go to SCC in a few months, that will be a blast, I would really love to get a chance to go out for my b-day later this month!
Thanks Raquelle!
Yea, it’s very difficult to arrange your life for spontaneous dressing, though it would be really great. If a friend drops by in the middle you have to pretend that you aren’t home
It seems the “spontaneous” is someone dropping in to spoil a week long plan for dressing! I have been interrupted at least four times while fully enfemme by my wife’s brother dropping in when he knows she is gone for the day. He probably expects me to work on his car. Ellen doesn’t do that. What a rush to get drab in two minutes or less- can’t be done!
Ever have some kids drop by to sell something for a fundraiser with their parents? Neighbors, of course. I’ll bet there are thousands of times we all have been surprised. Wait until your out for that marvelous drive enfemme when some idiot totals your car. Very embarassing! Been there.
Ellen
Wow, those are quite the surprises. I hope that I can deal with those types of things as they come.
You are so right that men don’t plan what they wear, we just do it and most of the time what we wear is poretty boring. By contrast, planning what to wear as Tina can be a joy, though in my case I really only do this when an outing or social event is planned in advance.
While it is great to plan these things, I too like the spontaneity of last minute decisions to take a day off and go out somewhere. I might say to myself, I’m on top of things in the office, sometime next week I will take a day off, if the coast is clear ie no kids about, wife happy about it, no last minute hiccups.
For the most part our evenings in are usually unplanned. My wife will occasionally invite me, mostly on the night, if she is ‘in the mood’ and if the coast is clear. Occasionally, I suggest it, but I try not to push the limits too far and I do enjoy it when she asks.
Usually we will have a nice meal at the dining room table, maybe cards or music after…..or we snuggle up to the tv or nice dvd.
Hugs
Tina x
Some times opportunities come in strange packages. I have been sick since Sunday night (it is now Wednesday morning) and with the wife out of the house – Voila! Julie Time! I was even able to enjoy it through the congestion and body aches! ~~giggle~~ We do what we must to be who we are.
Julie Michelle