How to Beat Crossdresser’s Block

Last week, we talked about crossdresser’s block – a phenomenon that most of us have experienced on our way to expressing ourselves. Frankly, I’m sick and tired of letting my insecurities and doubts get the best of me and I hope to spread this message by sharing what I’ve learned.

The consequences of not dressing are too profound to simply ignore. Keeping your feelings bottled up for long periods of time will almost always result in disastrous results. I break it down by initial internal excuse followed by my way of overcoming it.

But There’s No Time!

I’ve learned a valuable lesson from my wife: sometimes you just need to get ready fast. On many occasions, we’ve been behind schedule and I’ve seen her get pretty in about fifteen minutes. Although I have an extra task (shaving my face), I can apply this to Jessica time by practicing to be quicker about things.

When it’s crunch time, quick decisions and a clear mind will get you through. One of my goals is to be able to transform into Jessica in less than 30 minutes.

But Everything’s Not Right

Look, I’m an admitted perfectionist. I hold myself to unreasonably high standards in everything that I do, to a fault. As counterintuitive as it is, I’d rather not do something than perform at less than my best. It’s a problem that has hindered me for many years, but through counseling and reading I am starting to move past perfectionism.

This carries over to my femme appearance, but I made a breakthrough last time I dressed. My legs were super hairy, a big no-no ever since I started shaving them, but I still went through with my plans. I was also missing my wardrobe and makeup, but a quick trip to the store and some rummaging through my wife’s cosmetic bag solved those problems.

But I’m Fat

Genetic girls are constantly dealing with personal obstacles as they are held to such rigid gender molds in our society. However, if you didn’t know any better sometimes you can never tell. They hold their heads up high and go on living, and that is something to appreciate.

Although this is a tough obstacle, realize that getting in shape is a long journey and is not a goal that can be achieved overnight. It’s best to learn to accept your body at all times and concentrate on being happy and healthy. If you do feel that you could stand to lose some weight, just start exercising and eating better. Eventually, your hard work will pay off and you will not only feel better about yourself but you will also have that much more crossdressing experience.

Insecurities will get the best of you if allowed to run wild in your head. Don’t let them prevent you from doing what you gives you joy in life. I’ve heard girls talk about how they missed a spot shaving, feel gross or hate what they’re wearing. At some point or another, we all experience these feelings, you’re not alone.

But I Don’t Have Anything

Maybe you’re new to crossdressing or have recently purged your things. There’s no need to fret and blow hundreds of dollars just to feel girly. There’s no law that mandates a minimum size wardrobe to start practicing drag. Even if it’s a single piece of clothing, go for it. Enjoy it. As life permits, you will be able to add to your collection, but there’s no reason that you should have to wait until then to start having fun.

In my makeshift crossdressing post, I mentioned how I used to fashion a dress out of a simple t-shirt and belt. Kathi noted that she would paint her nails with white out and Syd mentioned that she would dye red t-shirts pink. Now, I’m not saying that you have to become an inventor and dig through your tool shed to find something to wear, however it is possible to have fun crossdressing with just a little bit of women’s clothing.

If your budget is tight, figure out what’s most important to you as a crossdresser. It might be a dress, pair of shoes, lipstick or a lingerie set. Whatever it is, you can definitely acquire something significant for a small amount of money.

But This is All So Confusing

Gender identity is a tricky beast. At any moment you may feel female, male or in-between. I can certainly relate to these internal struggles, as I’ve been down that road. Something very important that I want to get across is that you’ll never know yourself truly unless you continue to progress by expressing yourself.

It seems that each time I morph into Jessica I learn something new about my personality. These gains would not happen if I didn’t allow myself to get dressed, dance around and just be merry.

But They Don’t Accept Me

Okay, I’ll admit that this is a tough one to get around. I am very blessed to have a supportive, helpful and encouraging wife but I realize that not everyone is in the same position as me. It is my sincere wish that wherever you are and whomever you live with, you can dress and act as you please. One of my goals is to use this blog to spread my success story with confused wives, girlfriends, parents, siblings, friends, roommates, pets and waffle-iron salesmen in the hopes of gaining widespread acceptance.

I don’t normally advocate sneaking around and keeping secrets, but with crossdressing I think it’s necessary. For the sake of your mental well-being and that of your loved ones, don’t let anyone or anything stop you from expressing yourself. Sure, work on gaining acceptance, but I think that it’s harmful to everyone involved when you stifle yourself.

Leap Over The Hurdle(s)

I think that crossdresser’s block is a lot like writer’s block. You’ve got a clear goal in mind (dressing), but there is a mental obstacle standing between you and the finish line. Whatever it is, do your best to overcome the challenge. The winner’s circle has never been so pretty.

Ciao, girlfriends.

photo credit: 16 Miles of String

Similar Posts:

• One Year Ago. . .
• 15 Steps To Better Crossdressing – Part Five
• Back to Normal

Tagged as: advice, Cross Dress, Crossdresser, Crossdressing, gender identity, Jessica De Leon, Jessica Who, Transgender, Transvestite, waffles, wife