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Life is busy and sometimes it can seem that you never have any time just for you. Responsibilites and tasks pile up, leaving you frantically moving from one obligation to the next. This means cutting everything that isn’t absolutely necessary. However, this can take a toll on your emotional well-being.
We must strive to do the things that bring us joy, otherwise it can be hard to function on a daily basis. For many, dressing offers an escape from everyday life and is a stress reliever that works its magic just when you think you’ve hit the proverbial wall.
If dressing is so enjoyable and such a stress reliever, then why do I almost never encounter another crossdresser who is happy with the frequency of these occasions? From the friends I’ve made to the forum posts that I’ve read it seems I’m always encountering someone who doesn’t get to dress as often as they’d like.
So why aren’t we engaging in something that we not only love so much, but is a proven mood booster and general stress reliever? As I see it, this is a big problem plaguing us and it would be great if we could find a solution. The obvious answer is life balance and time management, but unfortunately this issue is much more complex.
The Important Stuff
You have priorities ranging from school, work, significant other (SO), family, children, church and so on. Obligations can take over your daily schedule, leaving little or no time for personal recreation. This is alone time that we all need, whether we are dressing or not.
During my college days, I often found myself swamped with exams and projects not to mention the organizations I was involved with. I also held several jobs which further took up chunks of my life.
Another common factor is an unsupportive significant other or family. Even if you do have the spare time, if you live with someone who discourages your gender expression then it’s pretty tough to get it done, except when you have the house to yourself.
Like most college students, I lived with roommates a lot that didn’t know about Jessica so my drag fun was significantly reduced. I can also sympathize with an non-accepting SO because I was once dated someone who disapproved of my habits.
The last major possibility is not having the clothes and accessories to transform yourself into your female counterpart. This could be the result of a purge or maybe you just haven’t yet had the chance to build your wardrobe.
A Mental Block
There may be something else at fault, I call it crossdresser’s block, and it is a phenomenon that I’ve experienced numerous times in the last several years. Essentially, I’ve had plenty of opportunities and supplies needed to dress yet only capitilazed on a tiny percentage, making all sorts of excuses in the process.
So why am I not dressing more? Off the top of my head:
- I’m insecure – At any moment I can feel fat, hairy, ugly or just generally too manly
- Procrastination & Laziness
- Embarrasment – In the past I’ve felt ashamed of my gender identity
How about you? Besides the major 3 factors (responsibility, family, lack of clothes) what has prevented or currently keeps you from giving your feminine side its time to shine?
In the past, I’ve let these imperfections slow me down, but no more. I’m determined to push forward for the sake of my sanity and I’d like to help my readers by sharing some ideas I’ve thought of. This post will be titled “How to Beat Crossdresser’s Block” and I will share it with you very soon in the hopes of fixing any deficiencies in your crossdressing life.
photo credit: db*photography
JessicaWhoHD
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{ 16 comments… read them below or add one }
Mostly I’d say because we have had plans on weekends and if I’m going to put the effort into getting ALL dressed up, I want to go out. On a daily basis though I’ll generally wear panties or something like that. When I was younger I always knew I’d end up with the guilty feelings, so I’d wear panties out, that way once I left home I had no alternative other than taking them off and not wearing anything, but I never wanted to do that. I guess I kinda forced myself to wear them.
I can definitely understand wanting to go out after all of that time and effort getting dolled up. I hate it when typical plans get in the way, because it’ll put a damper on my whole day.
Good questions and information Jessica.
I myself think it’s a mentality. My wife “allows” me to dress up but I know that in her heart she despises it so I only seem to be able to dress up when I can get past that because I know I need to do it right now.
Thanks girl. Yep, even though my wife accepted me, I knew that we had more to discuss, so I would try to dress only when she was out of the house. Eventually, though, she found out and encouraged me to dress around her, she wanted to be a part of it.
Laziness is big, and related to that is TIME.
It takes time to get dolled up, then you have to have time to enjoy it, or what’s the point? If I have an hour and a half to spend, but it takes me 30 minutes to get everything out and get dressed to some reasonable degree, and it takes equally long to get everything off, including the makeup, so that no one can tell, it loses it’s appeal!
Great post!
Yea, I am the queen of laziness!! LOL, or at least a princess … I’m the same way, if it’s already past 8 or 9 pm, then I don’t even bother with it, because by the time I’m ready it’s already time to wash up and go to bed!
Sometimes, I just don’t want to go through the whole process. I mean, a good shave, make-up and getting your gear on can take an hour or so if you’re not in a rush.
Oddly, I think it can be regular dressing that means I don’t rush any more. I’m lucky in that I get regular time out and about, so I can afford to let the odd change for dressing up slide by.
Ah, shaving, an annoying yet necessary process. Sometimes it can take me a couple of hours to get smooth.
I liked Savanna’s reply. My SO (wife) only sorta tolerates it. Making many of my opportunities uncomfortable. Fatigue is another real reason. Lots of work, energy depleted. I also find that since I have an occasional opportunity to get out as Ellen, It isn’t the same just sitting around the house, say watching TV, a movie, and having a drink of wine.
I am currently enjoying an opportunity to be Ellen with my SO OOT and I am waiting for the call for a rendevous. Stay tuned!
Ellen
I always wondered how going out dressed would affect my time at home dressed. They say that once you experience something higher, it’s tough to go back to old ways.
How cool that you are out with your SO, how did it go?
Ok this going to sound silly,
But there is point I don’t need to dress or I dont have the need to dress as strongly as long as I had my fix (I use them word carefully) becuse I feel dressing is like drug in some ways (and can be very damaging to your life). If you get your hit every few days your happy more than few days you need it more.
I am luckly I get to dress most days but sometime’s I find that I have free time in the evening its hard to be botherd even if your 1/2 ready with nails and legs done ther just not the need to go en fem
Hope I not too weird or upset anyone with the drugs ref.
Love and highheels
jenifer
xxxx
Ps girls if you can get fitted for your bra the right size for you will make such diff your clothing will fit so much beter and its the one thing even most GG get wrong
I can see the thought process there and I used to believe that I would develop a dependency on dressing if I did it too much. After Be-All (where I was dressed for like 48 consecutive hours), I found the opposite to be true.
I’m working on dressing about once a week, I think I’d be content with that
Oops, I should have been more clear. My wife was out of town, the mouse did play.
Ellen
Oh, ok I see
Jessica, may I ask a personal question here?
You mention children having higher priority as crossdressing.
Have you ever discussed with your wife how you will deal with crossdressing when the two of you eventually decide to get children?
It would be certainly tempting to “change society” by at least telling my young kid “yes, daddy likes pantyhose as much as mummy”, because it would simply accept the fact.
But it would also tell its friends. And they would tell their parents …
Therefore I think it is unfortunately necessary to hide everything until the children are old enough.
(Sorry for not giving a mail address – I have not got one yet.)
The subject of children has been discussed and while we both feel like we wouldn’t want to hide anything from the kids, it’s easier said than done.