My wife and I went out of town this past weekend to visit with family and I had a chance to have a deep conversation with my closest cousin. He and I have long considered ourselves brothers and as we grew up together we have had many talks and shared many secrets. I look to him for advice and someone I can always confide in.
As our chat went on, I began thinking of sharing my secret with him, so I made sure to ask him if there was anything that would ever make him turn his back on me. Immediately, he assured me that he wouldn’t ever do that, no matter what. Then, he smiled and asked if I had any bombs to drop on him to which I replied “yes, but it doesn’t have to be right now.”
Like always, people get curious when you drop hints, so he started listing extreme situations. Funny enough, he eventually asked if I was going to tell him that I was becoming a woman. I smirked and let him know that he was getting warm, causing even more confusion in him. As much experience as I have with sharing, I can still get a bit timid when it comes down to just saying it.
The next thing that I told him was that inside, I felt more feminine than most guys and eventually just told him that I was transgendered and more specifically, a crossdresser. He had a look of shock and disbelief, so I knew that we had to talk more so that he could understand more fully.
Because most, if not all, of my cousin’s friends are the typical macho guy, this was something I was sure that he never had encountered before. While everyone is familiar with the concept, few actually encounter it like this in their own lives.
Overall, I’m very happy that I decided to tell him at this point in my life and not earlier. It’s much simpler when you are sure of yourself and solid in your own foundation, because sometimes people will try to advise you on matters in your life. I take everyone’s advice for what it is and then make my own decisions, taking into account all the information that I have gathered.
For the first time, I had someone question me deeper about my feelings, probing to see whether it was debilitating or maybe just a phase. Also, he cautioned me that I should be very careful with the people I choose to share this with. In the end, I’m glad that I chose to share with him. It was definitely unlike any other time I have told someone about my crossdressing, but this conversation will not always go as planned. The most important thing is that he assured me several times that no matter what, he will always love and support me, and will never look at me any differently based on how I live my life. That’s all I could ever hope for.
I know that it’s going to take time and more conversations for my cousin to really comprehend what this all means, but I know for a fact that he’s always going to look out for me. There’s more to write, I’m sure, but at the moment I’m still out of town, but I did want to get my thoughts down about this before I forgot too much 
.
Loading ...
{ 14 comments… read them below or add one }
That’s quite a story, I’d quite liked to have been the proverbial fly-on-the-wall during it playing out. I’m glad it went well!
Thanks Lynn, although we were outside walking around the neighborhood, so you would have had to be flying alongside us!
Liberating, ain’t it? When I told my brother that I had something big to tell him, he smirked and said, “You’re not going to have a sex change, are you?”, thinking this the least likely thing I would share. “Wellllll…., not exactly.” Shocked, but remarkably supportive. It’s good to have someone in your corner who isn’t TG. They have more street cred.
Yes, very liberating although a little nervewracking as well. Wow, that’s a funny coincidence! I suppose many of us have very similar experiences, that’s why support groups and online communities are so very important.
I love having a non TG person know about me and support me, it puts me in the unique spot of receiving support and educating.
I’m so glad to hear that the conversation with your cousin went so well! People can amaze you, both in positive and negative ways. The ones who you think would never turn on you do, and the ones who you really worry about will pleasantly surprise you and show their true colors. You’re a lucky gal to have so much great support, Jess! I’m really happy for you.
Thanks, Rachel!
I am very blessed to have so many people in my life that are understanding. Although it may be shocking at first, they are all smart enough to realize that things like that are just not important in the grand scheme of things. They all seem to care more about me as a person than my quirks.
Jessica, it sounds like your conversation with your cousin couldn’t have gone much better. Of course, it may take him a little while to get comfortable with this new knowledge, but it sounds like he loves you, is supportive and is willing to learn. You also seem very secure in who you are and I think when you tell people about Jessica, they must sense that. It must help with the conversation.
You are a lucky girl to have so much support, Jess, but, I think you also have made much of that luck by being as open and honest as you are.
All the best.
Linda
Hi Linda,
Everything you said is so true, thanks so much. With my cousin, nothing would make him not love me, we have been through a lot together and consider each other brothers. I do try to exude confidence in myself so that I don’t come off as someone looking for help. Rather, I try to let them know that all I want from them is support or understanding, while I’ll be there to help them in things that they don’t understand right away.
Jessica
Thank you for sharing! I have been slowly sharing with people and almost everyone is supportive. I am slowly working up the courage to come out to my biological family and do not have any expectation that it will go well. Oh well. I have heard it said we have two families – the one we are born into and the one we choose….. I applaud your courage!!!
Cheers~
Christina Anne
Hi Christina Anne,
Thanks for your encouragement, I also wish you the best in your conversations with your family
Jessica
Wow! This is a great story and I’m very happy that you shared it, but more importantly for you it went very WELL !!!
Thanks Gerri, I am very happy that he took it well and is supportive of me.
My daughter told my sister about my cross dressing. My sister said to me that she supported me no matter what I did. She wasnt shocked in the least. I should have told her years ago. We always have this guilt thing that stops us from telling people. But not all people are supportive even when you tell them you have been this way as long as you could remember. In my case 2-3 years old.
I’m happy that your sister is supportive. I want people in my life to know me so that I don’t go through life feeling like I have to hide my true colors. I know that someday someone is not going to be understanding, but I’ve been through enough that it won’t really bother me
.