I was driving around town yesterday, running various errands. While parked near the local community college, I saw a person out of the corner of my eye riding a bike. When I turned to look, I immediately thought “there’s a crossdresser”.
Having this in mind, I turned my head slightly so that I could still see but not seem like I was staring. This person was average height (probably around 5’9″), had very short hair cut in a boy’s style, broad shoulders and a body that was thin but well built.
Was this a crossdresser?
However, this student was wearing a dress and had on makeup. As they locked up their bike and started to walk away, my mind was buzzing furiously. Was I looking at a fellow transgendered person or was this just a genetic girl with a funky and trendy haircut.
Aside from the fashion, this person looked like a man to me. Not a large man, mind you, but male nonetheless. As I mentioned, I was sitting in my parked car, so getting out to speak to them would be silly or even worse, frightening.
I would’ve liked to say hello and maybe even spark up a conversation to satisfy my curiosity (and perhaps make a new friend), but at this point I’ll never know. If she was a crossdresser, I am very proud because she was walking tall and confident down the sidewalk toward the library.
This got me thinking — as a crossdresser do you have your own optimized tranny-dar? Are you adept at picking out the female impersonator in a room full of women? I’d like to think that as a transgendered person I am pretty good at spotting a sister, but who knows?
There is a quirky habit that I have developed lately; a TG sixth sense, as in “I see trans people”.
Do you ever notice yourself unknowingly looking at every woman’s hands, feet or neck to see if they have a “tell” that gives them away as a crossdresser? For some reason, I find myself doing this while people watching from time to time, a sort of weird trans game I have developed.
Is this a result of society’s pressure to conform to gender stereotypes rubbing off on me or just a heightened awareness of trans people?
In any case, hope you enjoyed the post and hope your week is going great.
JessicaWhoHD
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{ 17 comments… read them below or add one }
I have found myself doing the very same thing, but for me it is no mystery.
In my experience, after making the effort to appear to be a woman, you start to wonder what might give you away, so you look for it in others. It becomes a newly captivating subject: exactly what visual cues tell someone that a person is male or female? And, of course, I’m not talking about the obvious ones like a beard, or male-pattern baldness.
To me, the essence of this question is this: some women may have a masculine jaw or voice or even build, but I know instantly that they are female – why? What have I perceived (that I can project as a girl) that told me they were female?
That is a great point, Janie. When you really take the time and put forth the effort to look and act female, it gives you an “insider’s look” at what is distinctly female in appearance.
For me, it really started developing when I was at Be-All. Every time I saw someone who was very well put together, my eyes immediately went toward their hands or feet.
When I do see women with masculine features (broad shoulders, strong jaw, deeper voice) it makes me feel at ease. In other words, although many of us as crossdressers aim for 100% femininity, many women aren’t even there, if that makes any sense
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Similar to Janie I too am every aware of which feature or behaviour might give me away. I also look a lot at genetic girls to see what I ‘miss’ or might need to adapt to come across more as ‘just one of the girls’. I don’t blatantly copy, as that would be horrendously fake, but I do try and eliminate the very masculine tells.
I am very fortunate with my build, being only 5’2 and (too) thin, but that doesn’t mean there aren’t things that can give me away in 0.2 seconds flat. Sometimes I have good days, where I can have a conversation with someone who has been staring me in the face for 15 minutes and remained clueless the entire time, other days however aren’t so good and I’m spotted almost instantly.
What exactly it is that’s my dead give away tell I’m not sure yet. As Janie says, there are quite a gew genetic girls out there with very masculine features yet you don’t doubt their gender for a second. What is it that ‘deadlocks’ that mindset? I hope to find that out someday.
Women are of course a great inspiration for MTF trans people, I always find myself looking at the way they put themselves together in order to improve my own look.
I hope for many more good days for you and all the best in perfecting your femininity
What about when the t-dar starts to tingle during non-trans time? A meeting at work or a conversation in the street… You notice their complexion, eyebrow grooming, nail length etc
Very true, that’s something that I didn’t mention, but I frequently do now. Just walking around and wondering if the men with smoothly shaven faces are secretly crossdressers?
I do the same – always watching others closer when I suspect a potential sister. I agree that I do it as “research” more than anything else, because I watch GG’s as well with the same eye. What makes them feminine – is it something I can adopt? There are many types of women, and I am just one of them.
Peace
Julie Michelle
When I look closer to see if a woman is a cd/tg, it’s mainly because I want to brighten their day either with a smile or a quick ‘hello’. Sometimes it’s simply for potential friendship.
I absolutely loved this one!!!! Good job. I must admit, at times, I do this same thing. I love the bubble talk. Love you, Mom
Thanks Mom
I do this *all* the time! I work in retail at a mall, and when I’m on the floor, if anyone even piques my tranny-dar, I start looking for signs.
Someone came in the other day and I *swear* it was another FTM. S/he kept hovering around the same area as me (I’m very easy to read, unfortunately, being quite petite and currently unable to bind due to sunburn), with clearly no intention of buying anything. I kept moving to see if s/he followed me, and s/he did, and I was *SO* close to striking up conversation… then one of my coworkers asked if s/he needed any help and they disappeared into the fitting rooms, at which time I was told that it was 5:00 and my shift was over.
I get so excited when I think I see other trans people, sometimes I think I’m probably a bit creepy because I have every intention of starting conversation, but only get up to the point where I walk up to them and open my mouth and then I promptly turn around and walk away.
I can totally relate to that — I too get excited when I think I’ve spotted another trans person, but I try to toe the line between seeming rude and being friendly. It’s tough because as it is our society is always moving further away from personal interaction with people outside of your family / friends circle.
I have noticed a couple of sisters out and about but personally, I try to ignore it – if they are anything like me, they do not want to be accosted on the street.
That’s so true.
I was told one thing that gave a girl away was that she was too good.
I would never trust my t-dar too many false positives, i’m sure.
Interesting, thanks for sharing Lucy
I have to add a note here – I agree, Lucy. Girls today don’t seem too interested in being feminine, so if you DO spot a VERY feminine, well put together, sharp looking lady, chances are . . . .
Julie Michelle