Another weekend comes and goes and the counter notches up again — I haven’t dressed in over two months. Sure, I’ve had some opportunities to do so, but just haven’t taken advantage for one reason or another. My wife and I were supposed to attend this year’s Southern Comfort Conference and were all set to go, until I caught a bad case of the flu early last week that forced me to cancel our trip.
“Whoa, Jessica. Is everything okay?”, you may be asking 
. Yes, actually things are good and while the first paragraph may give off the opposite impression, I wrote it with a purpose in mind. Even though my trans-activities are on a temporary hiatus, I am still happy and believe it or not, we’re celebrating.
The milestone that I’ve achieved is one of self-acceptance and our willingness as a couple to work through whatever issues that exist or will arise from crossdressing. It’s been a year since that day and that fateful conversation that finally got us on the right track.
For what seemed like eons (more like a few days) my wife and I discussed to death the matters at hand. From the frequency of dressing to the ultimate outcome, we revisited topics over and over again until we were mentally, emotionally and even physically exhausted.
Then, all of a sudden, we made a breakthrough. Through some divine blessing, we decided that we would handle anything that was thrown at us, for the sake of our relationship. Rebecca resolved to temper her fears and try her best to understand what I was going through.
On my end, I promised that I would stop denying who I was for the sake of silly macho pride. No longer would I purge, hide (from both myself and others) or wallow in my own self-pity. Furthermore, I would put more time and effort into actually dressing up, which was a huge step.
Since that day, I’ve come out to several of my loved ones, gone to a transgender conference, started blogging and improved my feminine appearance. These achievements have done wonders for my self-esteem and have improved my relationships with those around me. Last September was one of the best months of my life, and I owe a great deal to my better half.
It hasn’t always been perfect, though — I haven’t dressed as much as I’d like, I’ve been depressed and I’ve certainly had my share of ups and downs. I can’t lie, this road is not a cake walk. Despite this, one thing has remained clear and that is the goal of being 100% happy with who I am and enjoying it to the fullest extent possible.
With this in mind, I’d like you to take this lesson away from today’s post: accepting yourself is only the first step. Whether you’re a crossdresser, transsexual, drag queen or any combination thereof, be mindful of the many trials awaiting you around each turn. Every adventure is different yet none is more important than any other.
We all struggle with the challenges presented to us, but staying true to yourself and your goals will keep you grounded on the way to success. All the best, girlfriends 
.
JessicaWhoHD
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{ 12 comments… read them below or add one }
Another wonderful post Jessica. Thank you so much for so eloquently putting in words what many of us deal with.
*hugs*
Seleena
Thank you for the kind words Seleena, *hugs back*
“accepting yourself is only the first step”
I like what you have said. I would further add that I feel acceptance of oneself happens continually as we go through each trial for each one presents the question to us “Who am I?”
With each lesson learned, we change a little more and over time we are a different person than we were say as a teen and so forth. I would say it’s not enough to just accept that we are a cross-dresser, transsexual or whatever…although that is a big step… every step thereafter requires acceptance of who we become, blossom into each moment, each day.
Thanks for you hard work on this blog!
Zoë
So true, thanks for adding your insight Zoë. The hard work is worth it because of the great feedback I receive from everyone
.
Hi
A great post you are certainly right every adventure is different but none no less important than any other.
I always think we can learn from each other with the different challenages we all face.
Thanks
Karen
Thanks Karen, you’re so right about learning from each other.
Thank you for your wise words today, Jessica – especially your statement that coming out has improved your self-esteem and personal relationships. I’m not sure any of us can understand the toll keeping secrets has on us and those around us. We don’t always have a choice about whether to keep our secrets, but sharing with others takes a huge load off my mind!
Mira
(Tiresias Girl)
The thing about secrets is that we suffer inside while no one around us is any wiser. By sharing and coming out to people, my inner turmoil was alleviated
. Thanks for your comment.
True to yourself – THAT is the key. Thank you for expressing it so eloquently. You are a beautiful lady, inside and out.
It is the key, indeed. Thank you so much Julie
Jessica,
How true everything you say is! I’m often tearing around inside to decide what I should (should I dress, should I wait). Often I find myself under-dressing to provide some of the best of both worlds, but out in public it’s tough, you always wonder can someone see through it? The more I think about it the less certain I am – which is why I often just seize the moment and get dressed. Someday I will come to true grips with it… and your post certainly helps me realize I am not alone in how I feel either! *big hugs*
~Samantha
I am glad that this post spoke to you in that way, hugs right back