Among the most common questions in the crossdressing world is the how, why and when to select a femme name. This is a name that is taken on to represent your feminine side or persona and while some choose to call themselves by their male name no matter how they are dressed, many more choose to adopt a new moniker.
I chose the name Jessica as I had been enamored with it since my high school days. To me, my name embodies feminitity and just the slightest bit of attitude. Realizing that this isn’t the most creative or exciting way to select a femme nickname, we have compiled a list of other ways to do so.
3. A play on your male name
Feminizing your male name is unofficially the most popular way the crossdressers and transgendered people in general select a femme name. It is also perhaps the easiest way.
For example: If your name is Pat, then your femme name can be Pat … er, sorry bad example.
Justin / Justine, Frank / Francine, Brian / Brianna
If you happen to have a spanish name, then this becomes exponentially simpler. Usually you add an ‘a’ to the end or replace the ‘o’ with an ‘a’.
Daniel / Daniela, Consuelo / Consuela, Pablo / Pabla
2.After a celebrity
If there is a particular celebrity with whom you identify (or just think is cool) you can take on their name. Of course, if it is a unique name then everyone will know how you got that name.
For example: There aren’t many Madonna’s, Shakira’s or Oprah’s 
but oodles of Jennifer’s (Aniston, Lopez, Hudson) and Kim’s (Cattrall, Kardashian, Lil’)
You don’t have to identify with the celebrity if you choose their name, you may just love how it sounds.
1. Go With Your Heart
In the opinion of this humble blog, the best way to choose a femme name is by going with what feels right for you. Maybe there’s a name that you’ve always carried in your heart or perhaps you are going through a baby book and one name just jumps out at you. You may not be able to verbalize it, but the feeling is just great when a name just falls into place and *bam*, there you are, ready to emerge as your female self.
Your femme name can be as whimsical or as serious as you desire, but the point is to go with your heart and don’t rush if you can’t settle on something right away. After all, this is going to represent you.
At the end of the day, you are the one that has to be happy with what you choose. As I said earlier, there are crossdressers who go by their guy name because that’s what feels fine for them. So, how did you choose your femme name? Was it completely random or did you really take the time to find one?
Loading ...
{ 1 trackback }
{ 46 comments… read them below or add one }
For starters, the name I use online is just an alias to keep curious people from finding me on the internet too easily. I’m still fairly closeted at work, and in the surrounding community, and for at least the next few months its better that way.
My real name, that I will probably always use offline is Shannon.
My parents were kind enough to give me a nice androgynous middle name, and I have used it all my life and will probably continue too. Really more girls are named Shannon than guys, so it feels feminine enough, and its just me.
However my first name is masculine and will have to have one letter changed at some point.
As for Shandy Alexis, the “Shan” is obvious. I first heard the name Shandy on a goofy game show and imediately thought “Ooh, a fully feminized version of my name!” Its stuck in my head. As for Alexis, I just tagged it on randomly because the names sounded glam together and I was in a glam mood at the time. Some site required a last name somewhere, so I stuck Alexis in there, and I’ve used them together ever since.
Very cool, Shandy. I really like how you use your middle name.
Unfortunately when I was born, I was given the same identical name as my father, but with a Jr. slapped on the end. I’ve hated it all my life. Aside from gender identity issues, I never felt like my parents wanted me to have my own identity. They just wanted be to a clone of my father. Now I loved father, but I didn’t want to be him, not even as my male self. I remember when I was in third grade, and we had just moved to a new school district. I wanted to be known by a name that was unique to me, so I told my classmates to refer to me by my middle name. One day a kid knocked on our door and my mother answered. He said can Charles come out to play. My mother didn’t know who he was talking about, and when she found out I had told the kids my name was Charles, she put a stop to it right then and there, and I went ack to being my father’s clone.
I chose Melissa Alison for my new name. Melissa, because I like the sound of it, and I think it reflects the degree of femininity that I feel, and Alison, simply because it sounds elegant, and I have loved that name, ever since I first listened to a late night female disc jockey on a progressive NYC radio station back in the late sixties. She went by the name of Alison Steele, and called herself “The Night Bird”. She had a very sexy voice and low keyed style, and just sounded über cool, as she introduced some of the era’s most progressive, rock, folk and jazz numbers.
Melissa
I can understand wanting to break free from that type of forced identity. I love how you choose your name , thanks for sharing
When I was married, my ex and I had picked names for our children, if we have a boy, it will be this name and if it’s a girl, that name.
After 2 beautiful boys, I had decided I was done having children and got “fixed.” When I began my transition, I struggled with the name issue….I tried Christina Anne for awhile, but it just didn’t feel right. I remembered the name I chose if I had a daughter which was Zoë Suzanna. Since I had chose it and a daughter didn’t come…I felt it was right to claim it as my own. I was surprised to learn the meaning of Zoë is “eternal life” which is fitting since I have been focused on the spiritual aspect of my transition.
That is such a beautiful story, Zoë. Thank you for telling us.
Yeah, I am going to have to say that I went with my heart when I chose my name and have not looked back. Maybe I would have liked Jennifer better but I am happy with my female name.
Great to hear, Jessica. Of course I have to agree that it’s a wonderful name
My fem name if I used one would most likely be the name my mother would have given me had I been born a girl. Her chosen name for me was Septima. It is an odd name and I am not sure of it’s meaning but I feel it would fit. It honestly is better then my true given name which is too common.
Interesting that you say that, I have a friend who is not TG, but knows the name his mother chose for him had he been born a girl.
It was probably the heart, my eyes met the name and it felt right. I’ve tried flirting with other names but it seems we’re stuck together.
You followed your heart, so good to hear
I took the name my mother had picked out for me (and my little brother), had she gotten her wish and had a little girl. She never got to use the name, and my brother isn’t interested in having it, so I’m using it!
Awesome, that’s great to honor your mother’s choice
I tried to follow the norm – feminizing my guy name – but have never liked the name Geraldine. I went with the same initials – JMS. “Julie” because I liked the sound (and ADORE Julie Andrews), “Michelle” because it IS the feminized form of my middle name, and “Shaw” because it is short and sweet – just like me! ~~giggle~~
Likewise, I hate the feminized version of my given name, so I went in a different direction. That’s clever keeping your original initials and playing off your middle name. Thanks !
I have chosen two completely different femme names for myself in my life, Sue Linn and Teena. Both of them were names of real girls that I went to junior high school with. Both of them were very pretty girls, the kind I felt I had no chance with, but idolized and..well, loved. I expressed my feelings to Sue Linn, and she gave me a wound from which I never recovered. I didn’t even try with Teena.
I am sorry to hear about that, Teena. High school can be such a difficult time in one’s life, I went through similar experiences, you’re not alone.
My male name is Kelvin , with Kelvina sounding made up I chose a “partial’ play on the name. Also I always loved the song “Karen” by the Go Betweens , such devotion in those lyrics. It felt right.
Good choice, Karen
My femme name was chosen for me! When I was young, I was judged, and sure I was, GIRLY. Iwas unwise to mention, at my all-boys junior school, that I had been, with mummy and my sisters and girl cousin, to the ballet of this name, by Delibes. Also, they found, via a sister of a classmate, that I went to Dance classes. Ballet, tap and modern. I was always known as Sylvia, and sometimes teachers used this as well. Usually we were adressed only by our surnames. It was horrible at the time, but I like it more and more now.
Well, I am glad that you took something that was associated with negativity in your life and turned it into something wonderful.
I haven’t chosen a female name yet, but it is something I’ve given some thought to. The female version of my name is lovely, and it would be very easy to go with that… but maybe a little too easy! Plus, it’s also the name of an old girlfriend, so I don’t know if I’d feel comfortable using it.
I might have a think about taking the name of someone I admire, or maybe a character from a book or a film! But I’m in no real rush at the moment.
S, definitely take your time and choose what feels right for you.
Although I’d been dressing for many years with a very accepting spouse, I had never used a femme name.
It was a quiet Christmas Eve. Our guests had left and my wife and I were alone in front of the Christmas tree. She handed me a small, gaily wrapped box.
Opening it, I found a necklace with “Pamela” scripted in gold wire. She expalained that she had been thinking about a femme name for me and decided that “Pamela” described my feminine side.
I’ve been Pamela ever since – and I rarely dress without wearing that same now somewhat-tarnished necklace.
Pamela
Awwww, that is such a heart-warming story. You are very fortunate to have such a caring and tender wife.
I was just wanting to go with a name that was fairly uncommon. The last name Amaya is a Japanese word meaning “night rain.” I found it more appropriate since I tend to be more gothic in my style of dress. Friends at the club love the name.
I love it too!
I picked my name from one of the orginal Charlies Angel I loved them all, but one was my favorite Kate Jackson and she was called Sabrina Duncan and I had always loved that name so it was a perfect fit for me.
How cool, she’s gorgeous!
Well some people might not like her but I chose Lindsey because I think Lindsey Lohan is so gorgeous. I love her movies and thnk shes pretty funny.
She is gorgeous and despite her troubles, she has put out some funny movies (Mean Girls, Freaky Friday come to mind)
My male name is Lee but I always liked the name Leslie so I combined the two and arrived at Leslee. The different spelling suits me perfectly. My close tg friends always refer to me by Leslee no matter how Im dressed. I really like it better.
I love how you brought the two names together to form one, thanks for sharing Leslee
Why do I need two names? I am the same person “en femme”as
“in drab”?
Very true Warren
, some crossdressers do not choose a femme name in that case
So, I’m a Jessica too… I’m also lucky enough to know the name my mum picked for me when she was hoping for a girl – little does she know, she got one! But it’s also a strong case of going with your heart, as once I remembered this fact there was no way any other name would get a look in. I’m not sure my Aunt Jessica would approve though, she’s very traditional…
Yes, it’s a very emotional choice
I chose Stacey because it’s close to my real name of Stan. Stacey is a fun name and I like it. I also chose a middle name of Renea eventhough my birth middle name of Ray can be a girl’s name. I just like Renea better.
That’s great, kudos Stacey
I never had a femanine name until I started my blog earlier in the year. If I ever thought about it I always thought that I would choose Victoria (The name my parents had picked had I been a girl – I actually quite like it).
When it came to entering a name for the email account Stacy just dropped in there. So I decided to keep it – it seemed very natural so why pick something else.
I still switch between “Stacy’ and ‘Stace’ but then do something similar for my actual name in real life as well…
Well I just started crossdressing a couple weeks ago actually but already know I’m not giving it up since I actually become happier when wearing pretty skirts and tall socks. Actually already spent most of a day at my college in a skirt, thigh-highs and sweater (which frankly looked pretty bad). I’m naturally extremely feminine and when I am feeling this way physically not just mentally it was odd being called by my real name. I came up with my name by taking parts of my real first and middle names and then altering some letters. I really love this site and have been reading it a lot for advice and tips. I’m still working on everything so hopefully I can act how I feel. Thank you for this site being here.
I wanted to keep the first letter of my name and wanted something a bit Drag Queen styled so I weant for “Moonlight Desires” but I have now decided that I would prefer a more femme name that feels like me (if you know what I mean) so I chose a softer more mature name “Marilyn” with my mothers maiden name I feel more like a real woman now with my new name, Moonlight was cute but just a passing novelty.
Now, why am I just finding this? I saw a post on Stace’s blog that mentioned your post, Jessica. What an interesting set of responses.
I moved from the East Coast of the USA to California. I wanted a new identity and never really had much of an Internet presence prior to that anyway. On a whim, I needed a name for an email address. When I told my friends on the East Coast that I was moving to California, many times the reply was, “Your so lucky to move to Cali!”. I did not like that spelling, so I thought about Callie with two L’s but wanted something a bit more original so I went with one L. I never thought the name would stick. Indeed, if I were to transition today, I would simply have to use Calie as my legal name. There are just too many who now call me by that name.
I’ve just discovered this site! Where have I been?! …..I got my name from my heart. I’ve always felt that Karen was a name for a cute, feminine girl. Several years ago I went to a Halloween Party dressed as a princess (No, not a disney princess, just a princess) and many of my classmates, both guys and girls, said I made a cute looking girl. So, ever since then. I was Karen whenever I dressed. And I do feel cute and feminine when dressed.
I actually got my femme name from my mom(but not by telling her I crossdressed and I needed a name for when I am et femme! It actually goes like this). One day, when I was 8 or so, I asked my mom if she had any other names besides my real name that she could of named me (this was just out of curiosity, and this was also before I started crossdressing). She told me 2 names that could have called me. They were Jeremy, another boy name, and Sarah, the name see would have given me if I was born a girl.
I told my friends at school the next day about the name Jeremy, and that became my new nickname. I didn’t tell them about the name Sarah though because I was more boyish back then and I also probably didn’t care, yet.
When I got into crossdressing at age 11, I thought I was only a one in a million crossdresser. Then at age 12, when I started crossdressing more often and more seriously (privately at home of course), I discovered the full potential of the internet, and the crossdressers that have joined it. I soon learned that my ‘one in a million’ was more like a ‘one in one hundred’! I became more confident while in et femme.
At age 13 I did my first ever public appearance. Even though it was just going to the mailbox and lasted around 15-20 seconds, it was so alluring, I just had to do it again. Soon enough, every time the moment struck, would be outside for at least 30-45 seconds, (crossdressed of course).
Then one day, I went outside in public for around 41/2 to 5 minutes. Soon after that, I remembered how most crossdressers have a femme name, a name they have when they go out et femme. I thought long and hard but no names came to mind.
Then one day one the internet I read a story on how to choose a femme name(not this site though). After listing the different techniques, only one struck me, it was ‘follow your heart’. I shut down the computer and went to my room and tried to follow my heart. Nothing.
Then one day I remembered the day I asked my mom about the other names, the thing I had asked her 5 years ago, it came back to me, and I remembered the two other names, Jeremy, the nickname I had until I was 12 when in got replaced by a new nickname, and then, Sarah. Sarah, I liked the way the way that sounded, it seamed to flow quite nicely with my crossdressed self. From that day forward, I declared my femme name to be Sarah. Sarah will always we a part of me. I guess it is true what they mean about following your heart. It worked for me, I just hope it will work for all the other new crossdressers out there.
As Always, Sarah