Lock your windows, close your doors and hide — because it’s coming to get you. Around every corner, behind every shadow and inside every closet it is lurking, just waiting for the right moment to spring out and seize you.
No it’s not a ghost or even the swine flu, but rather a seasonal affliction that can affect any MTF trans person. The Pink Fog, sometimes known by its scientific name nebule roseus, is an allergic response to all things feminine.
What Are the Symptoms of The Pink Fog?
In cases of nebule roseus, your body responds by releasing large amounts of endorphins whenever you dress or think about dressing in women’s clothing.
These endorphins cause a swelling of the femme gland inside the brain, producing an increased urge to purchase clothing, shoes and accessories relating to the cross-dressing activity.
People with nebule roseus have bouts of intense happiness and a decreased resistance to squandering giant amounts of cash as well as spending most of the day obsessing over femininity.
How Do I Find Out What Causes My Pink Fog?
The season in which your pink fog occurs can narrow the list of potential offenders. Your doctor may be able to perform a series of tests to pinpoint the exact cause.
One such test involves showing you a series of photos of fashionable women and then measuring your blood pressure and heart rate. The photos that cause the most dramatic increase will be examined and the actual articles of clothing can be singled out.
What Is the Treatment for The Pink Fog?
Although there is no cure that is 100% effective, experts suggest that you disconnect your internet service, hide your wallet and trash your clothes catalogs.
Effective food therapies include manly selections like bacon, beer, pizza and chicken wings. However, before trying any of these home remedies, please consult your physician.
Will Testosterone Shots Help My Pink Fog?
No.
Personal Success Stories – Jessica
I was diagnosed with The Pink Fog in September of 2008, and my doctor said it was one of the worst cases that he had ever seen. He suggested that I lift weights and watch Arnold Schwartzenegger films to combat the sickness. Unfortunately, my doctor’s advice did little to alleviate my symptoms.
My online time was totally spent on browsing women’s clothing at stores like Wet Seal, Express, Victoria’s Secret and Macy’s. I began spending big money and before I could say “transvestites transgressing transatlantically”, packages started arriving at my residence.
Luckily for me, most of the clothes did not fit or just didn’t work with my body type, which started reversing some of the most potent effects of the Pink Fog. Each time I returned an article of clothing, I felt more and more like I was escaping this affliction. With my wife’s special care, I beat it and am now living happily, Pink Fog free for over a year!
Please feel free to comment and share your experiences with The Pink Fog in the section below.
This article is a work of satire and should not be taken seriously under any circumstance unless that circumstance happens to be seriously funny. The Pink Fog is not a real medical condition 
.
photo credit: timmalone45
Loading ...
{ 21 comments… read them below or add one }
Help I think I have a dose of the Pink Fog! I can’t go into a clothing store without purchasing $200 worth of cute clothes! And I can’t stop buying SHOES! Help!
heheehehe
You’ve got a bad case, must counteract the virus by ingesting one dozen hot wings
scared me for a second
Hehe, ’tis the season for scares, only a few weeks until Halloween
Pink Fog? I thought that was a reference to Pink Panther poots. Can’t say I’ve had Pink Fog Sydrome as of late. Although there was that one time…Halloween circa 1999? Anyway, it involved copious amounts of vodka, makeup, an M&M’s costume, a platinum blond bob wig, and Payless stilettos. But that’s a separate story…for another time.
I’m looking forward to that story!
Well, I’ve experienced Pink Fog a number of times over the years and I find it includes, not only squandering loads of time and money on shopping for girly things I don’t really need, it also lends and urgency to my actual dressing, to include serious underdressing, involving bra’s, garterbelts and stockings and even padded butt briefs. When things get foggy for me I overload on everything, including wearing a little makeup when leaving the house. Just dumb, but, it seams like a reasonable thing to do at the time. Damn fogginess!
Yea the fogginess can have a big influence
LOL!
The Pink Fog: also quite a chilling horror movie from the early 80s. A group of undead tranny pirates invade a small New England town and perform make-overs on the unwilling inhabitants of Drabsville. Talk about tough luxe
Oh yea, that’s next in my queue of movies to rent
A stay at home attitude can help relieve Pink Fog symptoms but
it is not much fun !
Indeed not much fun at all
Jessica,
Thank you so much for bringing this serious condition into perspective. I have lived with it for some time and thought I was alone and beyond help, but now I realize that others share my condition.
… can’t talk more now… gotta run… there’s a sale at the mall down the street…
I am glad that you found this medical journal useful
… side effects may include nausea if those cute heels don’t fit!
I was afflicted by this recently. I had to set up a day when in which to have a girls day out with my roommate (GG). She and I went to breakfast then to the local mall. I was intent on finding the right dress for my Halloween costume. Also just to spend the day out shopping. I succumb to minor case when on Ebay recently. Yes this is very real but no more dangerous then my other afflictions newvideogameitous and newgadgetitous.
I was afraid to admit it, but I too suffer from newvideogameitous
When I get the fog I usually manage to limit myself to dressing and window shopping online…
And end up with (thanks for the new words Gaven) newgadgetitous and in one extreme case newcaritous
Yea I’m bracing myself for the next time the fog hits me, gotta stay prepared in order to limit damage
I found my innerself surounded by the pink fog the other week, while looking at 2-pairs of stiletto shoes with 12cm heels on ebay, but my outerself kept saying what are you doing, when will you get the chance to wear them, so in the end the pink fog cleared and I let them go. I just felt lost not knowing which way to turn.
Yea I can relate to that feeling :-/
I’ve been diagnosed with Pink Fog. Luckily it’s under control – I only get it for four seasons out of every year.