Growing up as a crossdresser is certainly no easy task, especially when you feel as though you are all alone in this world. In 1999, when I first made my way to independent life at college and unsupervised internet access, I feverishly scoured the world wide web in the hopes of finding more about what I felt inside. In those days, what you mostly came across were static pages with definitions and ways to cope.
I don’t remember exactly when I discovered Aubrey Frost’s website but I am sure that it was somewhere between 2000 and the end of 2001. This was my first encounter with someone other than myself who crossdressed, even if I was just reading about her life experiences.
Aubrey’s Place & The Influence It had On Me
What I found fascinating about Aubrey’s site was the amount of effort that she put in — she had personal stories, thoughts and lots of pictures. She was pretty open about sharing things that happened to her and I felt a strong kinship even though she was on the other side of the country. We shared many things in common: she was in a serious relationship, about my age (slightly older) and was in college. In addition, she was quite happy with being a crossdresser and back then had no further solid plans as far as I can recall.
There were times when the site wasn’t updated frequently and even points when I feared it was gone for good, but time and time again Ms. Frost would reappear to let us know that everything was okay. She was an inspriration, a pioneer in every sense of the word. At that point I was not familiar with any other personal crossdressing blog/website. A year or so later, I decided to start my own website under the nickname “latina_cd”. In fact, my website address was geocities.com/latina_cd — or something like that.
Aubrey gave me the confidence to start sharing my own thoughts and back then I had no idea if anyone would take notice, but I didn’t care. My site was given zero promotion and I didn’t try to get it listed in any webrings or online forums. I simply wrote an entry in MS Word and pasted it in some HTML code, and voila, there was my rudimentary blog. I didn’t have WordPress to help me along or even any way of having readers interact by leaving comments.
That didn’t stop people from finding my page. Somehow, I’ll never know exactly how, visitors started showing up (I could tell from the now ancient website counter). Soon after that I began receiving emails from other crossdressers. Some laid out a situation the person found themselves in and asked for my advice. Others simply told me that I was doing a good job and to keep up the good work. Unfortunately, my shame and anxiety got the best of me and I took the website down after only a few months.
Would you believe that part of it was the fear of discovery? In hindsight, this seems incredibly stupid because I used a nickname and did not post a single picture (at that time I hadn’t even dressed fully from head to toe) because I was too nervous to have pictures of me in female gear developed. I suppose that being ridiculed and even threatened by my girlfriend at the time contributed somewhat to the removal of my early blog, but the majority of the blame lies with me.
Will Aubrey-Frost Ever Return?
I admired Aubrey and still do to this day. Although her website is not currently active — aubrey-frost.com — but I’ll always remember the impact that Aubrey’s Place had on me. Some of my post ideas, especially the early ones, were influenced in some part by Aubrey. I hope to one day have a chance to speak with her and I’m still holding out for new updates.
If there is ever a cross-dresser hall of fame, Aubrey Frost would get my first vote.
Aubrey, if you ever happen to read this humble entry — thank you for having the courage to blog and share your story with the world. You have been a true inspiration to me.