Growing up as a crossdresser is certainly no easy task, especially when you feel as though you are all alone in this world. In 1999, when I first made my way to independent life at college and unsupervised internet access, I feverishly scoured the world wide web in the hopes of finding more about what I felt inside. In those days, what you mostly came across were static pages with definitions and ways to cope.
I don’t remember exactly when I discovered Aubrey Frost’s website but I am sure that it was somewhere between 2000 and the end of 2001. This was my first encounter with someone other than myself who crossdressed, even if I was just reading about her life experiences.
Aubrey’s Place & The Influence It had On Me
What I found fascinating about Aubrey’s site was the amount of effort that she put in — she had personal stories, thoughts and lots of pictures. She was pretty open about sharing things that happened to her and I felt a strong kinship even though she was on the other side of the country. We shared many things in common: she was in a serious relationship, about my age (slightly older) and was in college. In addition, she was quite happy with being a crossdresser and back then had no further solid plans as far as I can recall.
There were times when the site wasn’t updated frequently and even points when I feared it was gone for good, but time and time again Ms. Frost would reappear to let us know that everything was okay. She was an inspriration, a pioneer in every sense of the word. At that point I was not familiar with any other personal crossdressing blog/website. A year or so later, I decided to start my own website under the nickname “latina_cd”. In fact, my website address was geocities.com/latina_cd — or something like that.
Aubrey gave me the confidence to start sharing my own thoughts and back then I had no idea if anyone would take notice, but I didn’t care. My site was given zero promotion and I didn’t try to get it listed in any webrings or online forums. I simply wrote an entry in MS Word and pasted it in some HTML code, and voila, there was my rudimentary blog. I didn’t have WordPress to help me along or even any way of having readers interact by leaving comments.
That didn’t stop people from finding my page. Somehow, I’ll never know exactly how, visitors started showing up (I could tell from the now ancient website counter). Soon after that I began receiving emails from other crossdressers. Some laid out a situation the person found themselves in and asked for my advice. Others simply told me that I was doing a good job and to keep up the good work. Unfortunately, my shame and anxiety got the best of me and I took the website down after only a few months.
Would you believe that part of it was the fear of discovery? In hindsight, this seems incredibly stupid because I used a nickname and did not post a single picture (at that time I hadn’t even dressed fully from head to toe) because I was too nervous to have pictures of me in female gear developed. I suppose that being ridiculed and even threatened by my girlfriend at the time contributed somewhat to the removal of my early blog, but the majority of the blame lies with me.
Will Aubrey-Frost Ever Return?
I admired Aubrey and still do to this day. Although her website is not currently active — aubrey-frost.com — but I’ll always remember the impact that Aubrey’s Place had on me. Some of my post ideas, especially the early ones, were influenced in some part by Aubrey. I hope to one day have a chance to speak with her and I’m still holding out for new updates.
If there is ever a cross-dresser hall of fame, Aubrey Frost would get my first vote.
Aubrey, if you ever happen to read this humble entry — thank you for having the courage to blog and share your story with the world. You have been a true inspiration to me.
photo credit: ED́WW day_dae (esteemedhelga)
JessicaWhoHD
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{ 14 comments… read them below or add one }
It’s a shame that Aubrey isn’t posting now. As a pioneer, she probably changed other lives besides yours.
FD
You do well to honor those who inspire you. It is in this practice that we bring recognition and praise to the pioneers, the ones who laid the ground work so the next generation can travel the road slightly easier. Thank you Jessica, and I know someday (possibly soon) you will be so honored by the next generation.
Peace
Julie Michelle
Aubrey’s blog was also one of the first I ever read. I read everything she wrote, dating back to day one. We have exchanged some emails over the years. I would say that she had an influence on me for sure.
I remember thinking to myself, when I first saw her pictures, that she was faking the pictures. She just looked too good. The ultimate compliment, I suppose.
I do hope that she is doing well in her transition and that her family is OK. To this day, I still link to her site from my blog.
Thanks for writing this, Jessica. Very interesting to hear how Aubrey affected you.
Calie xxx
I think there are those who blaze a trail and to an extent, a lot of us follow in their wake. That said, it seems a growing tide – to stick with the water references
– in that each blogger or web site owner, takes confidence or the concept from another site, and then runs with it. Each person adding their own bit of history and hopefully, encouraging others that it’s okay to be trans.
I count myself among Aubrey’s many early fans. She was very adorable as a girl and I loved that her SO was so supportive of her- always. I miss her pics and stories a great deal and hope she will re-appear someday soon.
Hugs
Abby
BTW
I always meant to tell her that Aubrey is actually a boy’s name.
Like you I feel pretty inspired for another crossdressing blog, “Ivonne´s Place” I read everything that she wrote and feel pretty identificated with her situation but sadly I don´t think that she returns like you all have hopes with Miss Aubrey (http://www.yvonnesplace.net/yvonne/nothinglefttosay.htm) it´s pretty sad because she inspired me so much, =( maybe I should thank her right away for work so hard to put together that amazing web page (and be nice enough to keep it online after say farewell), and I must thank you Jessica for the amazing job that you have done with your blog, I´m pretty sure that in the future others tg people will say that you inspired them, keep it the good job! go for it girl! =) Again, thanks for all Jessica!!!
I’m incredibly flattered to be considered a “pioneer,” but I’m not sure I really can take credit for anything like that. I was just emulating the sites that I had started seeing in my early days on the internet (starting in about ’96).
A couple of years ago I realized that I wasn’t a cross-dresser and that my desire to transition was never going to go away. So I started down that path. There is still a long ways to go but I’m taking it all one day at a time!
Jo
(FYI, I never intended ‘Aubrey’ to be a name I’d use for myself permanently. Now that I’ve decided to transition I think I’ve settled on “Jo” as my soon-to-be name.)
Hi Aubrey.
I´m your fan from Argentina since your site were on tripod. You are so beautifull and your clothes are gorgeous.
I´d like to understand what does excactly means that you are on a “transition”.
Do you mean transition to become a fulltime girl? or transition to become just a boy and try to forget your femenine side?
Greetings.
Bye
Damian (also a CD, living inside a closet)
I agree that Aubrey’s blog was a huge inspiration for me, and I know for many other trans people in the country (and probably the world)… It showed me someone with the courage to be who she wanted to be, and helped give me some of that courage… And, it wasn’t sexual–it was about someone like me who liked to dress but didn’t need any sex acts or nudity to enjoy it… Maybe that was one of the most unique aspects of it when I first went to it…
While Jo may not agree with the word “pioneer”, she can’t object to the word “inspiration”…
Good luck on your journey Jo… There are thousands of us out here who miss checking your site on a weekly basis, and who wish you the best of luck in your transition… Godspeed…
Krystle
I have also followed Aubrey for many years. She as others have inspired me to take the next step and finally transition. Aubrey has changed her name to Jo. You can find her here myspace.com/aubreyfrost or follow her on twitter twitter.com/_justjo/
Hi, Jessica. I really like your blog.
I’ve added my own appreciation of Jo on my blog. I hope she’s well. Her blog showed her to be smart, funny and thoughtful. She also appreciated Jeff Goldblum (as do I) so her taste in movies and TV was obviously impeccable.
Aubrey made me feel like I was normal and not alone. I started college the same year she did and our development seem to parallel each other. I’m sad to see her disappear from the public sphere. I hope she is doing well.
Hi.
Anyone knows where I can find Jo right now?
She changed (or abbandon) her twitter account and I´d like to read about her updates.
It looks as if Jo has left the Internet completely.
And I don’t blame her, to share yourself, with so many people, with various desires to contact or harass, its not for everyone.
She impacted my life as well, we exchanged a couple short chats, but it wasn’t important for me that we form a relationship, we already shared something. For those that have been searching for updates, Jo has been transitioning, and has had two kids with her wife. I think there is plenty in Jo’s life without involving the Internet fame and fans. I know we will miss her, but we all must do what makes us happy.