If you’re a card-carrying member of the LGBT community, most likely at one point or another have had to “come out” and share your real self with someone. A part of you that had remained secret for many years, mainly due to society frowning upon your gender or sexual identity. It is indeed one of the hardest things that we must do, and one never knows how the person on the other end will react.
In my lifetime, I’ve come out as a transgendered person to several people in my life, some family, some friends, and some therapists. There is a common theme, however — I’ve known all of them for at least a brief period of time before revealing myself. This all changed last week, when I decided to share my crossdressing with a room full of complete strangers.
Who Are These Strangers?
Ever since I began posting my trans comedy videos, I’ve been receiving incredible support from all of you out there in the form of comments, emails, private messages and message board postings. A good part of the feedback was actually that I should consider getting into stand-up comedy — something I had honestly never considered.
After a few weeks of consistently reading these suggestions, I began seriously considering this prospect. For most of my life, my comedy has come in the form of sketches and improvisation. In other words, formulating jokes and then reciting them has never been my forte. So if I wanted to give my best effort to this, I had to do things the right way by building a solid foundation and learning the fundamentals.
I embarked on my new journey by purchasing a comedy book and joining the local stand-up comedy club. At the club’s weekly meetings, everyone gets in front of the room and tells their jokes, which are all in some stage of development. The others give constructive criticism and offer suggestions to aid that comedian in perfecting their material.
When everyone else had gone, I decided to get in front of the room and give a short introduction — I’ve always been into comedy and making people laugh and I have a successful YouTube channel on which I do sketch comedy videos. This led to my decision to give stand-up a try. The rest of the group began inquiring about my channel and so in a split-second I made the decision to tell them what I was all about, that I do a lot of my comedy in drag.
Coming Out — Are You a Crossdresser?
The leader of the club then asked me, “Is this a character that you play or do you actually crossdress?” I replied that I indeed was a cross-dresser and that for most of my life it had been a source of anguish and despair. Those days, however, were now over and I am currently making videos to edutain (educate & entertain).
To use the cliché, no one batted an eyelash. Everybody in the room seemed very cool and open to the idea and while I didn’t give them my YouTube user name, I imagine that at some point I will.
Easier or More Difficult to Come Out to Strangers?
In an instant, I made the decision to come out as a transvestite to the entire club (about 20 people). I had actually planned on keeping it a secret at least for a little while as I got to know everyone, but things changed and as I do in my comedy — I improvised. There was no speech preparation, no appointment and no anxiety leading up to the revelation. It was simply put, an off-the-cuff remark about my lifestyle.
Each time that I’ve come out to a loved one, I had bouts of nervousness leading up to the discussion. I’ve been full of doubt, fear and pessimistic thoughts. Fortunately, these all quickly faded away as every person has accepted me and been supportive. Even when I have told therapists about Jessica, there was a sense of uneasiness that pervaded my existence (sorry to be so literary 
).
When I revealed my secret to this group of comedians, there was still the possibility of rejection. Of course, I don’t know any of them and so the risk factor was quite low although it would suck if I wasn’t allowed to work with them. In addition, I was standing in the front of the room, so factor in that form of awkwardness.
Looking back, I have to say that for me, it was easier to come out to strangers, even with the risk of rejection and ridicule. At worst, I could just walk out of the room and never come back. At best, I would have more allies and creative people to work with in my quest for comedic genius.
Conclusions
As I said, everyone was extremely nice to me and they couldn’t have reacted any cooler. What else was said and what does the future hold for my comedy career? Stay tuned, as I’ll be writing about this soon 
.
How about you? Have you experienced coming out to strangers in addition to coming out to friends and family? What differences did you notice and which do you think is easier? I’m interested in reading your experiences and seeing if we can reach a consensus.
photo credit: faungg
JessicaWhoHD
Facebook
{ 14 comments… read them below or add one }
I certainly encourage you to go into the stand up comedy field.
I have years of experience in amateur theatre but not en femme.
I wish you success. Warren
Great, so maybe you can give me some pointers, eh?
Thank you for the well wishes
Well done J.
And I must say that you displayed great improv instincts in handling the question. Honesty, openness and availability are key to comedy. You got ‘em.
Thanks for sharing.
I appreciate that, Petra. At the second meeting I talked about my cross-dressing and pitched my jokes without even flinching. I’ll write more about this later, but your comment resonated with me and helped me feel even better. Thank you
Very brave – and I am glad it went so well for you, sweetie. I have never come out to strangers, but I would imagine it would be easier – “nothing to lose” as you implied.
I was probably lucky in that I was coming out to a room of comedians. We tend to be open-minded and used to the zany.
I suppose that by going out in public we are essentially “coming out” to strangers, although this is a slight twist.
Thanks so much.
Yes sometimes it’s not only easier to come out to strangers but also sometimes easier for them to accept us because they haven’t known us our whole lives, like our families.
Good job girl! I know from experience, this is a good feeling. =)
Thanks girl! I know right, family members have this preconceived notion about who we are and who they think we should be like.
I felt good being proud of who I am.
Long story short:
I was part of a group past-life regression. Me, my wife, the hypnotist and nine other women, all strangers but one (who doesn’t know).
While describing my experience, I ended up telling about my crossdressing. I think the most shocked person in the room was my wife (she knoew, disapproves).
If you want the long story, let me know. I’ll be happy to share.
I am sorry to hear that your wife disapproves, Meg. Feel free to share your story with me, I can be reached via email.
Is comedy cheap therapy?
There was a radio show about this idea last month. That aside, top marks on toughing out the question and being so honest. I think there’s lots of possibilities for comedy gold within the trans world. I mean, just going out (and avoiding the neighbours) is an act of military planning (cue A Team theme) 
Thanks Lynn
Hey Jessica,
I wish you a lot of good luck in your potential comedy career. I’ve been doing stand up for 9 years now, and I only came out as a crossdresser publicly and in my act last summer, and it has really been a gamechanger for me in how I approach my entire act. If you ever want to talk shop or would like any pointers and tips about comedy, feel free to email me.
~Rye
Thanks, I appreciate it
{ 1 trackback }