Two weeks ago, we explored the topic of feeling extra pressure to dress nicely together. You left some amazing comments that ran the full spectrum from always looking very nice to wanting to blend in with everyday women. Some of you mentioned that you don’t take your femininity for granted and as such make every attempt to wear your best outfits, even if it is just to sweep and mop the floors at home.
Now it’s time for the other side of the field, the area that most cross-dressing men occupy most often. Some say en homme (the opposite of en femme), others say guy-mode but one term that sticks out the most is “drab”. This acronym stands for dressed as a boy (the opposite of drag, dressed as a girl).
Drab also means boring, mundane, ordinary and without sparkle. With these negative connotations an uninformed person would assume that men who cross-dress begrudgingly don their male clothes as opposed to wholeheartedly savoring the act of wearing women’s clothing. Is this true or a misconception?
Dressing In Drag
We’ve established that cross-dressing can be an amazing experience, and usually is. For those of us who spend our lives as males — at work, with our family and out in public — the male to female transformation is more than just a hobby, it’s something that we need to do to keep our lives complete and balanced.
I’ve read accounts from doctors where it is written that men who crossdress show up to therapy as bummy, sloppy males but when they come en femme they look like they are ready to paint the town red. However, is this an accurate representation of MTF transvestites or just a gross blanket statement?
My Fashion History
In my first years of life on this Earth my parents draped me in designer clothes like Izod, Nike and OshKosh B’gosh. This may have had something to do with me being the first born, because as time progressed and our family got larger my closet was stocked with pieces not quite as fancy. As a young man, I had to wear a uniform but I always had an appreciation of the latest male fashion trends. Once I got to college, money was tight so I had to shop at discount stores although I would splurge on important items like sports jerseys.
Recently, though, I experience a revolution. Part of it was probably due to my memories of nice clothes as a young boy and part of it was my wife wanting me to be a bit more spiffy. I set aside some money and started purchasing really great threads from brands like Lacoste, Ralph Lauren, Levi’s, North Face and Nike. After all, living in downtown Chicago calls for sharp dressing.
So I resent the stereotype of sloppy guys who dress up as gorgeous gals. No matter what aspect of my gender I am presenting, I usually try to look my best. That’s not to say that I don’t have my extreme casual moments 
.
I enjoy putting on a spiffy shirt and tie as much as I relish slipping into a fabulous dress. My boxers are by Alfani and my bras are by Victoria’s Secret. Forgive the cliché, but I have a passion for fashion. My wardrobe enforces, ruptures and transcends gender boundaries all at the same time.
Am I in the Minority?
This has been a topic that I’ve had in the idea box since last summer. I am aware that this may be a minority view, but I wanted to both open this topic up for discussion and serve as an example for cross-dressers who may be looking for a positive example grounded in reality. Don’t let anyone ever tell you that by improving your “male” look your desire to dress as a female will dissolve (in my experience, they will try!).
So how about all of you? If you’re a part-time girl – do you put as much effort into your “drab” as your “drag”? Is budget weren’t a concern, would you enhance your clothes collection, both male and female? If you are transitioning or have transitioned, did you at any point in your lives take pleasure in “dressing up” in a suit or tuxedo?
If you’re not trans, how important is fashion in your life? I once had a professor who placed so much importance on his wardrobe that he drove around an old beat-up van that was payed off just so he could spend more on his clothes.
While I could never occupy that extreme realm, I take pride in my appearance and enjoy being fashionable — as a man or a woman.
photo credit: Bludgeoner86
JessicaWhoHD
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{ 7 comments… read them below or add one }
I’ve written about this in my own blog from time to time. Eventually, my male wardrobe is going out, for good. For a long time, the only male clothing I’ve owned are a few shirts and ties for work, plus a dozen tee shirts, and the gender of some of those is suspect. There was a time when I didn’t mind dressing nicely as a man, but I don’t have the energy (or budget) to maintain two separate wardrobes of equal quality anymore.
First of all, I do not like the “drab” phrase. I try to look presentable
either in male or female mode most of the time. I do not like a slopy
look either as a male or female. I am only a part time crossdresser s0
I do not spend much time “en femme”.(by the way I do like that phrase “en femme”}. I live in a retirement community where crossdressing is an abnormal way of life and I can’t change that perception.
I always try to look my best – and that includes shaving on Saturdays to do yard work. I have always felt that we should present our best self to everyone, and that includes your family. Why get all fancied up to meet “special people” when you have some living under your own roof? And as my Great Aunt Mae used to say, “You never know which moment will be your last on this earth – so always be “dressed for travel”.
Julie Michelle
Perhaps with tranny powers, there’s a touch of a Peacock mentality? Not so much ‘look at me’ but wanting to dress well. I’m not saying this is a theory – more an observation – in that in the animal kingdom, it’s usually the males who are more wildly coloured. Perhaps it’s more than heels and hemlines, maybe it’s a want to feel glamourous – regardless of gender.
To answer your question though, I may take more interest in women’s fashions, but that’s not to say I’m not interested in being well turned out as a guy. I like to stay trim, look presentable (if pretty much always casual) and above all, well groomed.
I do a lot of fix up work on homes and do wear very bland cloths most of the time. I have also found that I do not enjoy shopping for mens cloths at all. I only buy for necessity and rarely for style.
In contrast, my female cloths are brighter colors, stylish and matching. I am constantly expanding my wardrobe and watch what other women wear very closely.I have also let my hair grow longer and do exercise to maintain my physique. I read womens fashion articles on a regular basis.I think its obvious which gender I prefer.
I have only a few “masculine outfits All however have brighter colourfull shirts. The pants are all feminine and stretch tight My underwear is definitely feminine . The only masculine thing is my leather boots which are unisex.. Well? really all my so called masculine gear is unisex. I seen to attract ive to “gays” more in this unisex clothing than I do in my female clothing ? Does this happen to any other CD’s ?
As I said before when commenting on a somewhat-related post, my own CDing lies in something of a grey area given that I’m usually still presenting as a man when wearing female attire; therefore there’s definitely nothing drab about my “drab”! But, no, I definitely believe that it’s important to look your best in whatever gender you happen to be presenting as. I’m also familiar with the stereotype, mentioned in the OP, of the MTF CDer who looks like the epitome of glamour when dressed, but a total slob when not, and have always thought that was a little sad; it almost seems as if the CDer in question is trying to “kill off” their male side through sheer neglect.
I’m not really that big on labels, however; instead, I prefer to simply buy stuff that looks good (and which looks as if it’s going to survive repeated wears), regardless of who puts it out (I also get a lot of my clothing specially made, so labels aren’t really an issue there). Funnily enough, when I was growing up, my mother seemed far more interested in me wearing trendy stuff than I was. I remember when we were clothes-shopping once, we bumped into some guys I knew from school, and once we’d said our hellos and they’d gone off to do whatever they had to, she pointed out that they’d been wearing trendy gear and that it had looked good on them, hint hint! My reaction was pretty much just to shrug and go, “So?”
One thing I do have an issue with when it comes to men’s clothing, however, is that a lot of it, even the well-made stuff, unfortunately looks quite dull, particularly when it comes to colour. I’m also not much of a fan of suits, tuxedos or anything else that looks like a uniform (wearing one of the latter things for much of my time at school pretty much instilled in me a lifelong aversion towards them); that said, with a little bit of colour thrown in, I think the aforementioned kinds of outfits can look quite good (I’m a particular fan of the “coloured shirt and matching tie with a suit” look). Really, though, I’ll give any piece of men’s clothing at least a second glance if it doesn’t look totally boring and utilitarian. A splash of colour (the brighter the better) will increase my opinion of most things greatly, as will a bit of lustre (I *love* anything in leather for this reason), or any thoroughly impractical decorative feature. I also like stuff that really stands out, which has meant, ironically enough, that I like a lot of really macho looks – the biker/gangbanger look with the muscles, facial hair, tattoos, ostentatious jewellery and the like, for example; or the heavy metal look with the long hair, leather, bullet-belts, studs and spikes.
Finally, the OP’s comment on the professor he had who drove around in a beat-up old bomb just so he’d have more money to spend on clothes reminded me of an interesting movement I once read about called La Sape, which is basically an African form of dandyism. Popular in the Congo (where it may well have originated), it involves the rather bizarre phenomenon of individuals (known as “sapeurs”) who live in the most appalling poverty spending what little money they have on the most ostentatious outfits (and swapping clothes with their friends in order to add a bit of variety to their wardrobes). In the opinion of someone who studied the phenomenon first-hand, it was a way for those who practiced it to feel as though they had some control over their (generally bleak) lives, and to add a bit of colour and hope to those lives.