A funny thing happened last week — well, maybe not funny at first. When I found out, I was actually a bit shocked but not embarrassed.
My wife was informed of the matter first and shortly after she called me to share this new information. Something major had transpired the day before — I had been outed to my family on YouTube!
Caught in Drag on the Internet!
Here’s how it happened: my cousin (let’s call her Bernadette) and her husband were at their home with my cousin (let’s call him O’Shea — he knows about Jessica, I blogged about telling him), his girlfriend and my uncle (father of Bernadette and O’Shea).
Bernadette was on her laptop watching a video of mine. This was a comedy video that I had done in guy mode, under a separate YouTube account. I shared the link with friends and family and for some reason, one of the suggested videos on the sidebar is my 7 Hour Synergy video.
She saw the thumbnail that the person looked a lot like me so she decided to click it. From there, she watched about 5 more of my Jessica Who videos. Meanwhile, her husband, my uncle, O’Shea and his girlfriend were all in the room looking at the same laptop!
The Post-Cross-Dresser-Outing-To-Family Report
This happened sometime on Sunday, August 21st unbeknownst to me and my wife. The next afternoon, I received a call from my wife. She told me that she was on Facebook and Bernadette contacted her via chat to tell her that she watched some of my videos.
At first, Rebecca figured they were my “guy” videos, but she soon found out the opposite. She immediately called me and we discussed the situation. Neither of us freaked out, we both stayed calm and talked about how we knew this would happen sooner or later.
The next thing I did was call Bernadette, who quickly told me about the others who watched along with her. So I decided to talk about me being a cross-dresser. She actually didn’t believe me at first, and here’s why: while my videos were playing, O’Shea did some damage control.
What he said to the others was that this was one of many characters that I play in my comedy act, and they all took his word as bond. Of course, I was ignorant to this fact because he didn’t contact me to let me know what went on. In any case, Bernadette handled it very well — she told me that she would never judge me, I’m her cousin and she loves me.
Of course, those are the magic words and so we talked a bit more about it. Sure, it was slightly uncomfortable, but it went well. She told me that everyone was a little shocked to see me dressed like a woman, though they chalked it up to my personality — always joking and goofing off.
We ended the conversation on a great note and she told me that my secret was safe with her. Next, I called O’Shea and he recapped the entire happening to me. His story was in line with what Bernadette told me, so I won’t write about that.
What I do want to share from that conversation, was that he told me that he was very proud of me. Having seen my stand-up and now my sketch comedy videos, he was extremely impressed by my courage. This made me feel terrific.
Obviously, I never look at what I’m doing as being courageous or brave, it’s just me being me. Hopefully it becomes something that I can do for a living someday, because I love it and am very passionate about comedy.
The Culprit Video
As I stated earlier, I also make sketch comedy videos as a dude, though under a separate YouTube account. When you watch a video on YouTube, there are several other videos that the site suggests you watch after. It just so happened that my “guy” video suggested a “Jessica” video. I’m guessing that it has something to do with using the same computer, because the title and tags are completely different.
When I discovered this, I just shrugged my shoulders because there wasn’t anything I could do about it. I prepared myself for the possibility of one of my friends or family members watching this video and then clicking on the Jessica video. What kept me strong is that I have never nor will never make any video that will make me embarrassed or ashamed of myself.
In Conclusion
This was a long post, but to summarize – 5 more of my family members discovered my crossdressing secret and none of them reacted negatively. It works to my favor that I am known as a comedian in my family and that I am always joking around. Person by person I am trying to do my part to show the world that we in the T community are everyday folk.
My wife made an interesting comment — close to 50 people (that know me personally) are aware of my bold feminine side. My wife, my mother, my wife’s sister, my cousin O’Shea, his girlfriend, my best friend, my cousin Bernadette, her husband, my uncle, five of our friends from Chicago, and about 20-30 of my comedian friends. Perhaps the sun will rise on a day when everyone in my life knows, we shall see 
.
Analysis
As I stated above, I was preparing myself for something like this to happen. In addition, for a while now I have been wanting to tell more people about this, because it is nothing I am ashamed of. Sure, there is a little awkwardness at first but after that is over it is smooth sailing, because I am confident and strong in who I am. I no longer strive to hide Jessica.
The Culprit Video
The culprit was a sketch I did in guy mode, publicly available on YouTube for anyone to see. I haven’t yet posted these videos on this blog, but may do a post on them soon. In the meantime, if you’d like to see them, just do a little poking around and you’ll stumble onto them. Trust me, it’s very easy to find them, no treasure map required.
In the Comments Section
How would you have reacted if something like this happened to you? Has something like this happened to you online in any form?
Well, thanks for reading and have a great week
JessicaWhoHD
Facebook
{ 9 comments… read them below or add one }
WHAT!? I’m glad it turned out well for you. I hope my colleagues never find out about my blog, otherwise they may find out how I write absurd stories about them. Always change the names to protect the guilty, but I’m sure they could figure out who’s-who eventually.
You’re right, if you hadn’t already been known as a comic and for doing different characters, it might not have gone over so well.
Good on your family & friends for supporting you!
I am glad that things worked out. In general, I am absolutely opposed to anyone being outed except by themselves. Stay strong, Love and hugs, Angie
Have you considered just openly telling the rest of your family? As you say, you aren’t ashamed of who you are (yay you!) – so, yes, there is some awkwardness in the short run, I’m sure. On the other hand, you eliminate all future chances of something like this happening, and possible hurt that someone found out through the internet rather than just sharing in person.
It sounds like you’re weathering the storm and good luck with that. I think that true friends will just that it in their stride and really, why shouldn’t they?
TBH, I’d be a bit freaked out – I guess that’s why most of my FlickR stuff is ‘friends only’. Not for any dodgy reason as I don’t do risque stuff (it’s just not my bag, baby). My family are a very good bunch, okay, there may be some gentle teasing from my sister’s side, but there are worse secrets.
My only worry in all this would be how far the truth spread: my kids are at school and while I’m happy with who I am, do they need to know and in them knowing, could they draw fire from the idiots & the bigots? I’d rather not put them through that.
Congrats on the good “outing” and hugs!
Dear Jessica,
Really good post. I’m so glad to read that everything was okay when some of your family found out about Jessica.
I’ve been in a situation a couple of times when my parents have seen Veronica with my wife. They know about how I like to crossdress, unfortunately from my ex-wife, but it was akward to see them as Veronica. Not sure they took it well. They didn’t say anything, just looked angry. Guess that hurt the most. I want my family to accept me and Veronica but I doubt they ever will.
On the brightside, I do have my loving wife is very accepting of Veronica and I thank God for that everyday. My wife has taught me to be confident about Veronica and to go out and show the world. Something I have done many times.
We shouldn’t be ashamed of who we are and how God made us. We should be confident and proud of who we are. Whether it is in front of our familes or complete strangers.
God Bless always,
Veronica =)
P.S – Sorry if this comment is to long.
Jessica,
I must say it sounds like you have an awesome family. I wish all families were as supportive and accepting. This is probably a blessing. It’s always good to know that someone you love loves you for who you are.
Stories alike this are always best when they end “happily ever after”, and it sure looks like yours did. Congrats. I have never been outted like that, but I did have my mother-in-law walk in the house unannounced once while Julie was catching up on some emails. She was wonderful about it, especially after I told her that her daughter knew since before we were married. Still – the moment of looking her in the face through mascara and eye liner was frightening.
Julie Michelle
Hehe, the Internet can be a dangerous place for outing – I’m glad it turned out well for you. In a way, a “soft” outing like that is easy if the person is accepting, but can really suck if they’re not.
Hugs,
Vanessa