My blog is different from most in the TG blogosphere in that I incorporate humor, whimsy and lightheartedness almost constantly. However, there is no sugar-coating or making this incident I read about on Helen Boyd’s blog en|Gender. The article is here and is about a transwoman who was attack at a Kohl’s in Tennessee.
I cannot even describe what happened to her because it is so horrific, I was in tears when I was reading this story because I just cannot believe that one human being can do this sort of thing to another. In any case, it made me think about an important thing that should be discussed here — self-defense.
A Valid Part of Your Femme Side
I know that most of us think about makeup, fashion, mannerisms, speech and movement when it comes to our feminine side (whether it is a small part of us or the whole). These are certainly of the utmost important, but your personal safety must always be considered.
Let me take a step back for second, though. I am a naturally super-paranoid person and because of this I must put my paranoia aside for this blog post. I don’t want to scare anyone into a cave, but I do feel like your well-being in public must be considered, even if just briefly.
We live in a society that can be at times exceedingly progressive while at the same time frustratingly conservative. While for the most part we can move freely in public without fear of being confronted, there is always a chance.
It doesn’t matter whether you’re a weekend crossdresser or a transitioning male-to-female, anyone can be a target of an ignorant and violent jerk. I don’t know if self-defense is part of the TS road map, but if it is not then it should be.
In any case, consider taking self-defense courses, even if they are only introductory. One great thing is that it is possible to take martial arts classes at any age. There are the traditional karate and tae kwon do classes in addition to newer sensations like Brazilian Jiu Jitsu, popular thanks in part to the surge in popularity of the UFC.
Again, I am not advocating for us to live our lives in fear, which is probably one of the first instincts that surfaces when we hear about something tragic like this. It is important for us to keep our heads high and live authentically so as not to let these ignorant trans and homophobic lowlives win.
Other forms of protection like mace and pepper spray can also be considered as a bare minimum. I was an athlete as a kid and have more recently taken boxing lessons, so I do feel that I am somewhat capable of protecting myself. Even so, one of my lifelong dreams has been to learn a martial art. Perhaps a story like this will propel me to take faster action.
I know that this is an isolated incident but please, please always do your best to ensure your own safety, always be aware of your surroundings and maintain your mind, body and soul to protect yourself from verbal, emotional and physical violence.
{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }
Its a vise idea to take some self defense material arts. I think Karate, Tae Kwon Do or Jiu Jitsu is good, but my personal experience is there is a few effective material arts, like the Aikido and the Israeli Kraw Maga. I learned Kraw Maga, its very effective, end easy to learn.
Once upon a time I tried to arrange a self-defense class for a small group; I called a few places and instructors that did self-defense for women. No one called me back! And that was in Brooklyn.
My Mom once told me about a class she took, in the 1960′s. The instructor told everyone (it was all women) to wear high heels and tight skirts, because they were the most difficult to defend yourself in. (I think a gown would also be a challenge!) He then showed them some simple judo moves. Even years later, Mom could throw me over her shoulder very easily. The general point wasn’t to attack the attacker, it was to give yourself room and opportunity to escape.
Verbal self-defense is something that has to be done very carefully. Too “lippy”, and you’ll end up in the emergency ward. It’s difficult to know where that fine line between “just far enough” and when a confrontation can turn physical is.
It’s definitely something that’s needed. Women are generally attuned to the dangers they face; they’re taught them from a young age, and often have personal experience of some of those dangers. Transgender and transsexual women aren’t necessarily as aware as they should be.
And, of course, there needs to be a concerted effort to get police forces and AG offices to take the safety of the transgendered as seriously as they do other people’s. But that’s a topic all its own.
I know this is old but ijust found been back in closet for years for same reason most r kids and stuff but thear all gone now But you talk about cd geting beat up people dont realize most cd spent most of there life trying two be abad ass and most suceeded so you better think twice before uck with me cause ill beat your ass in my brand new platforms biiiiitch how you like me now