Usually when I write an article about some form of injustice (no matter how big or small), it is society against the LGBTQ community. However, today I want to highlight something that is from within the community, specifically the crossdressing community.
I know that not everyone will agree but it is something that I’ve witnessed and I feel that it is worth mentioning.
Young Crossdressers Only?
This article concerns a practice on certain crossdresser message boards where pictures are shared for the rest of the community to enjoy and give feedback.
Now, before anyone thinks this is something I made up, it was brought to my attention by not only seeing it happen but also by various community members speaking up about it.
Basically what happens is that “young and attractive” crossdressers will post pictures and get lots of responses and attention (usually of the variety “you’re hot”, “looking sexy”, “love your look”, etc.) while “older or less attractive” crossdressers will share photos and barely get two replies.
Why am I bothering to write this? Well, because I strongly believe that in a community as ostracized as ours, we all deserve attention and validation. It is difficult enough to make those first steps out of the closet (even it is online) and muster up enough courage in sharing photographs without worrying if we are “pretty or sexy” enough.
In a way, the message boards become a microcosm of some of the things that are wrong with society. People deemed less appealing are pushed to the bottom of the list at the expense of their self-esteem and confidence.
While I don’t have much time for message board participation lately, in the past I have made it a point to find the threads with only 2 or 3 replies and add my own response, hopefully doing my part in being there for my crossdressing sister.
We are all valuable no matter what age, shape or form and we should strive to make everyone in the community feel valued. Why turn a message board into a virtual meat market?
{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }
Yes, yes, a thousand times YES. I suppose i was lucky when i started to perform in drag to be friends with some crossdressers and TG folk at the Metropolitan Community Church I also attended at that time. It is important grounding, I think, to be reminded, as in all forms of expression, that it should not be limited to the outgoing, extroverted, or routinely attractive. Showing your self like that is BEAUTIFUL, dammit, however it is expressed.
I’m also little more *ahem* “middle aged,” now and it is important to be reminded that time stops for nobody. It could be terrifying, even if someone IS one of the “pretty” ones now, if there is no support when the look has matured a bit and spandex can’t do the miracles it once did.
I belong to 2 forums and have been treated well for an old(70) lady and have received some nice compliments on the photos I’ve posted. A girl loves compliments! I’m more comfortable now when I go out as I don’t have to be glammed up. I dress nicely and present in keeping with my age. True you don’t always get alot of responses to your posts but, it really depends on the topic.
I’m an author on Fictionmania and here I get few reviews when it would really be appreciated. I try to leave truthful reviews or comments but not snide or hurtful.
Jessica,
Have you seen this Tumblr Site?
fuckyeahcutetranschicks[dot]tumblr[dot]com
Their mission:
“Too often trans women are berated on our appearance or told that we ‘re ugly. Those of us that blend in are often treated with such endearing phrases as “but you’re so pretty, how can you be trans?” and “you’re really cute.. for a trans girl”.
Well, it’s time to show the world the cuteness that trans women can achieve. Fuck yeah cute trans chicks dedicates itself to showing that our cuteness and sexiness does not match cisgender expectations and those expectations can fuck right off.”
If you look through there you will see trans women of all ages and levels of passing. They’ve even went as far as to disable the commenting function on the pics to prevent “popularity contests”.
It really is a beautiful positive space
~Christine
I may be mature, but I can still dress with the best and my love making skills are never questioned. I have never left a man unsatisfied. They always want MORE. At 69 I can still get a date with one e-mail. I must be doing something right ..They all want to take photos.