Arlington, VA (JW) — At the tail end of 2012, some big news flew under the radar. The American Psychiatric Association (APA) finally removed transgender from the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM) in a move that should have happened a long time ago (MSHHLTA).
We had a chance to Skype with the assistant to the Regional Media Manager of the APA and got a few answers on why the removal took so long.
“What had happened was,” stated Robert Froido, “um, they had called, [ten-second pause], and then, cuz it had rained.” Was this the best that a representative of the APA could do? After some investigative journalism, we found that the person in charge of changing the DSM had actually been locked away in a mental institution for the past 30 years!
Later in the interview, we asked Froido that if homosexuality had been removed all the way back in 1974 why did it take the APA another 38 years to remove transgender. “Look, I can understand being gay,” Froido stated “I mean, I’m straight and have been married for 22 years, but if you put a naked Channing Tatum in front of me I can’t tell you with 100% certainty that I wouldn’t go to town on the guy.”
Froido continued, “But what I still can’t wrap my head around is why anyone would feel that they were born in the wrong body, that’s some sci-fi Star Trek next level [expletive].”
We found the APA’s rule book and spotted a weird clause “Yo, my homeboy Freud wrote the original DSM, so if you want to change it you’re going to need 105% of the vote.”
Shortly after the initial news broke of transgender being removed from the DSM, a press release was released. In it, we found the following quote, “We now declare being transgender as not being a mental illness. Still, it’s a bit weird.” When pressed for an explanation, Robert Froido told us that this was a typo.
As for crossdressing, it is now going to be upgraded to the Ultra DSM, a secret edition that only kings and presidents get to read.
THIS IS A WORK OF SATIRE.